Where it all Started…

“The past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later and thus we don’t complete emotions about the present, only about the past” - Virginia Wold

Flight

I was about to start my journey, in a strange place, in a foreign language. I recall three years later, that trip seems long and short at the same time.

I was more worried about my family who came with me. I was fearless but they weren’t.

After exchange, on the small airplane to the island, where our final destination lands, there was an old Caucasian lady who sat beside me. She asked me if I was there to study. She was very sweet and complimented my English. I didn’t really understand the culture of praises at that time. Although I know my English was full of loopholes, I was flattered.

I went into deep sleep after that, until we landed, where I stayed for two and a half years.

I didn't think I have any particular feelings. I think back now I was calmer than anytime especially in the airport. Maybe because there was lots of waiting, I let go of my mind.

It reminds me of a line:

"以前的车马很远，书信很慢, 一生只爱一个人。" The travelling were far, the letters were slow, we spend a lifetime in loving one person.

Arrived

I met my homestay. We took photos together. She was nice. There were a few other homestays waiting for their students. A young man, about the same age as me, went with a very old and short lady. I was thinking: is it that lady looking after him, or vice versa?

I got to my homestay's place by her car. My parents took a taxi. (and the taxi was crazy expensive)

I wasn’t worry about my parents until just as I was writing about these experience. How did they manage to take a taxi? How did they tell the driver where to go? How did they get to the hotel and get the right room? Where did they have dinner? What were they thinking when they were in the hotel room, knowing no one and speaking no English?

I would be so afraid.

First day

I cried very hard at the night of my first day there, just like the same night I arrived in a new country for my undergraduate degree.

I asked myself: "why am I here?"

I had my life, my friends, and my family back home. I had no idea, but I cannot help what was happening.

I told my self in the diary: "you are sad because you are too relaxed, when you get things to do, you will be fine." I fell into deep sleep.

Impression and thoughts

I wrote something like this on the first day of my diary: "It is a quite place here, unlike my city, crowded and noisy," "but I like cities more than countryside."

I love the glories, the buildings and fancy cloths. The island always give me the feeling of desireless.

About the Last bit

However, in the last month of my journey. I stood at downtown, alone, gazing at the center of the city. It was as foreign as I first encountered it. I realized that I never fully knew here, or knew it at all.

Before I left, I was hanging out with two of the locals, I tasted the food, I saw the crowd, I heard the noises, I witnessed the bustling in this city. It was the first time, and the last time as well, that I feel this city so closely. Before all these, I only discovered the boundless sky and the starry nights, but never saw the other side of this city. What a pity. Maybe I would like it better if I could feel it earlier.

Again, I had the reasons for this blog, because I won't remember what I experienced and what I missed until I write them all down, and realized I had done nothing and everything.

"And there are people forgot what it was like to be 16 when they turn 17."

But I want to remember.

2017.7.8